I've lived in the UK for 11 years now and it's still a totally foreign country. The trouble is, now so is the motherland. I take my role of Stranger in a Strange Land seriously, and yet I am sick to the back teeth of people gawping at the fact that I left the Golden State under my own steam. I have blended into my new life with few seams showing but sometimes it feels like the stitches are just about to burst...